there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't put those talents on a resume
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
