Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
