Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
