your room smells of hookers.
And success
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
