The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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