Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
