question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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