This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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