We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
