You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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