my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
