You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
