I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
