Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
