Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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