oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
