soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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