You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
if i can run in heels then i can drive
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
this will be a night to untag.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
