Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
