they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
