I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
