Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Come see our sink grown plant.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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