i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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