You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
