nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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