How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
