Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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