I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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