at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize