As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
