Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
