based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize
