someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
