I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
