how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
