I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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