Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
