vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's shark week go big or go home
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
