i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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