I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
