I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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