Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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