He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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