I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
