I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
