I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do vagina's smell?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
