Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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