would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
