So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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