love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
